Monday, February 20, 2012

Get Boozy for Lent!

"A clause is a group of words that forms part of a sentence and has a subject and predicate. A principal clause makes a statement. It can stand alone like a simple sentence. A compound sentence contains two or more principal clauses usually joined by a co-ordinate conjunction."

I haven't blogged about anything in a long time. The cobwebs have formed on my previous vain literary ventures, and my heart has grown cold from months of blissful introspection and self-improvement. But no longer will I continue to mildew in the throes of that doldrum!

With another Judeo-Christian holiday season rearing its ugly head, I have decided it is time for me to loudly proclaim my vigor and excite my wit once again.

Usually I only realize it's Lent about a week into the process, but my girlfriend happened to make me aware of the impending event only hours ago. It's Lent! Yea!

I immediately decided to pose this question on Facebook, and now I also pose that question to you, the World! Question:

Hi Facebook friends/enemies! For Lent, I have decided to give up things other people don't like about me, in the spirit of selfless Christian love and the intrinsic goodness of conforming to societal expectations! Shoot me with your arrows of discontent! Please!

World, as you probably don't know me as well as my many hundreds of acquaintances and handful of friends, and although you're probably not reading this, if you happen to be, feel free to project onto me your various absurd worldviews and dogmas, minus any actual understanding of who I am as a person! (Was that a run-on sentence, or a brilliant and determined use of well-placed commas to create a dramatic statement?)

Wow! Talk about burying the lead! I was trying to get around to saying that I haven't been very exciting lately. I don't have much money, having been un/underemployed for over four months now, and the winter weather has added to my glumness and subtle malaise. But spring is around the corner! Flowers! Rabbits! Chocolate! Cleaning! And with them...hope. And whatnot.

And so, for that reason, I have decided to commit to consuming alcohol throughout the month (or 40 days... 40 days. Right? It's like, a really long lunar month? A super month. Biblical month. Magic month.) of Lent. I think it makes sense. I haven't been drinking. Catholics drink. It's a Catholic holiday. Act Catholic.

You're welcome,